Jennifer: Shit My Religion’s Professor Says
College is all about learning to deal with people. Who ever says otherwise is a liar. I have to say I’m failing in that aspect however, that has nothing to do with this post. The ‘people’ are students, administrators, and professors. Students you have to interact with whether you actually communicate or not. Administrators not so much. Then there are professors. You honestly don’t have to interact with them, but most of the time it is in your best interest that you do.
Most of the time you get a generic professor. Someone who isn’t exciting but isn’t boring. Sometimes you get a bad one who is either rude, boring, or both. But on a rare, magical occasion, you end up with someone who is so vibrant and interesting that no matter what subject they are teaching, you learn and you enjoy it. This is how it is with my Responses to the Holocaust class. Professor Kavka (because his name is just fun to say) is energetic. He has this magnetism that draws you into what you are learning and dare I say it, I’ve never laughed so much in a class in my life. A HOLOCAUST CLASS MIND YOU!
Therefore, I am going to share some of the things he says because they are just that great. Keep in mind these are a summary. I don’t remember everything word for word. I wish I did. I’m probably forgetting parts of it. This is for pure entertainment only.
Shit My Religion’s Professor says:
- “It’s another round of ‘Let’s Guess What is in Kavka’s Head’ although Lady Gaga is always the correct answer.”
- “The Sound of Music is the STRANGEST WWII movie. It’s a good thing Christoper Plummer is so hot. All he has to do is whistle and I’ll come runnin’.”
- Continuing on with the Sound of Music ”The Nazi’s knew the nuns had to have done it, THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE THERE!” *
- “What?! This is the bible belt! Come on what are they teaching you in Church these days”
- “Once again the Bible belt has let me down”
- “Oh come on, there needs to be more than just two fag hags in this room.”
- Refering to Shoah “… I know it’s easy to be sucked into the magical light that is your phone during the movie but do try to not text… It’s like ‘AAAAAHHHH!” oh what’s it called from Toy Story? YES THE CLAW!!! OOOOOOOOO, AAAAAHHHH, THE CLAW! THE HOLOCLAW!”
- When the dance sequence in Shoah appears: “That is the most disturbing movie sequence in all of Hollywood.”
- -says something in a high pitched voice- “Oh my God who was that” or ”I mean” -repeats in a lower octave- “I don’t know where that came from”
- In referring to what I said about an article where the author is pretty much blaming the Jews for the Holocaust he wrote on the board. ”Jews. Own. Damn. Fault.”
- Whenever he wants to say a bad word he normally throws in “Explicit-Deleted”
- “I know it was hard to pay attention back in middle school when your hormones were surging and all you could think about was how the person next to you was so much hotter than you would ever be.”*
- When discussing an early Christian theologian. “That’s actually not his name. That means “[Man]with the Golden Mouth” -points to a student- “No. No.” starts laughing “I am not going there.” then in a high voice “I’m going to write my paper on early Christian Water sports!”
* I think that was something he said. Again I can’t remember but it’s still funny.
There are so many more that I can’t remember. I think I’m going to have to start writing them down so I can share them on here. Again for the third time, not everything is word for word. There might be one or two I made up. I also want to mention that while there is a ton of laughing, it’s not always fun and games. There are serious moments. The beauty of those serious moments is that it is genuine. Like last class, he told us upfront how much he hated the lecture he was going to teach us; he apologized in advance but the lecture was a necessary one for the course. I have to admit that I understand after sitting through it why he felt that way. It goes back to the “Jews Own Damn Fault” one.
But the point here is, college can be fun. It can be loads of fun, especially with the right teacher. So if you are going to FSU and need an elective, I suggest Kavka. He’s great, beyond great. He’s on of the reasons I haven’t gave up on college yet.
I hope you enjoyed. Till Next time.
-Jen