When deciding on what kind of room you’re going to live in when you go to college, most of the time you’re stuck choosing between suite style (sharing a room with 3 other people), apartment style (one bathroom again, but you’re sharing with four other people and you have a kitchen and a living area) or traditional style (which has multiple bathrooms in the hall for all the residents of the floor). The obvious choice for most entering college students, may be the suite style rooms, I know it was my first choice.
Now, let me tell you why you should never choose a suite style room. Ever.
5. None of you are on the same schedule
Yeah, this problem is pretty obvious (and some of you may even wonder why it’s a problem). You may think you can overcome it. You’re not all going to shower at the same time or be in the bathroom at the same time. And it’s true, you’re not. Because there’s this invention called a lock and 99.999% of the time you’re going to be locked out while someone else is in there. Anyways, now let me tell you why this is a bad thing let me tell you why sharing a bathroom between four different people on different schedules is going to end up driving you insane.
First, there’s always someone that showers in the middle of the night. I don’t care who you live with, someone is going to crank on that shower at 2am and you’re going to wake up and want to kill them. Second, you can hear everything and when you can hear everything that happens in that bathroom, you never get any sleep if you have people who like to be in there every second of every day.
4. Everybody Poops
I was lucky enough that I lived with girls. And I mean, sometimes you can get a gross girl, god forbid that bombs the toilet and makes it look completely disgusting and you wonder what the hell she ate that made it smell so bad. Anyways, the point of this is that you’re going to get suitemates that don’t know what air freshener is or how to “light a match” to make it smell less like a skunk died in there and more like a mountain spring.
You get this with traditional style too, don’t get me wrong, but then when one stinks like dead skunks you have about four other bathrooms on the hall to choose from. In suite style baths, you’re stuck with that one super smelly bathroom and if you can’t bear to use that one? Have fun knocking on other people’s doors or going downstairs to the only public bathroom in the entire buildings.
3. You’re going to get locked out
It may be on purpose, it may be on accident…whatever, but it happens. Your suitemates will lock you out and maybe you’ll lock them out and they’ll end up hating you forever for the one time you forget to unlock their stupid door. They may also blast really annoying gospel music as they snigger from their bedroom, listening to you about to “bust a pee” all over your dorm room floor.
Again, have fun running to the public bathroom on the first floor. Or, if you can manage it, breaking in and stabbing those bitches in the face with some nice and very sharp scissors.
2. You all have different bathing rituals
You may like a short, quiet shower while your roommate/suitemates like to “rock out” to the most atrocious music you’ve ever heard in your life or maybe they like taking showers that are an hour or two hours long. You may pride yourself on being open-minded and accepting or flexible, but trust me…waking up to someone blaring god-awful music on a Saturday morning while you were trying to get more than two hours of sleep? It’s going to happen and you’re going to hate them for it.
And maybe you get the ones who think it’s okay to hock up loogies in the sink or sing loudly with Adele songs or maybe they turn on the shower and barf up all their food in the toilet. Yeah, have fun with that.
1. Eventually, you end up HATING everyone you live with
Yeah, you could still end up hating your roommate in an apartment or in a traditional style dorm, but nothing compares to hating your suitemates. Especially when your roommate is so obviously on their side. Then it becomes this all out war between them and you where eventually since it’s 3 against 1, you lose. You always lose.
Then you get too paranoid to ever use the bathroom, like they’re always listening to you pee or shower or anything. They might even (in extreme cases, like my personal case…I hated them so much!) they’ll talk bad about you in the bathroom or go in the bathroom after you unlock their door, but they wont use it. They’ll just walk around say “she think she so slick” and walk back into their bathroom.
Suitemates are bad news. It’s like, putting up with a horrible roommate times three. So just stick the the traditional style dorms if you can, at least you’ll only have one bitch to live with.